Wednesday, December 3, 2008
A few hours later my immediate family had a delicious breakfast of soy sausage, turkey bacon, chocolate chip pancakes, fresh fruit, my grandpa's bread, and egg whites. YUMMY!!! It was a small gathering as two of my sister's and their hubbies are now out of state and this year Jayla was with mom.
Afterwards, Jay and I got ready and headed down to San Diego to Jay's niece's (and boyfriend's) place. I was wiped out from the trip to LAX and waking up to make breakfast, so minutes into the drive I passed out. I guess I missed 2 hours of Thanksgiving Traffic. When we got there we were welcomed by the lovely couple, 3 kitties, a dog and a HUGE feast!!! Jay's niece was telling us that she wants to attend a culinary school and have a catering business focusing on cakes and baked goods. She was going to bake a cake for a friend's b-day part on Saturday and look at the amazing job she did!!!
I jokingly told Jay that she could make our wedding cake. Jay's response "oh lord!"
Saturday, November 8, 2008
And so did my Mom!
And this was our celebration cookie cake from mrs. Fields...YUMMY!!!
Congrat honey! All those hours of studying, cramming, driving to SD is all over! You did it!! :)
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
And yesterday I got a great tutoring session on chemistry. I was a little nervous since my search for a tutor came up with a bad experience. My first tutor had a big head about the knowledge he had to share and I was like a little peon that should be in awe of him. First thing I noticed when I walked into his house was that he had a cat. Good thing I am an animal lover, but I thought it was weird that he would not have mentioned it. There are so many people that don't like kitties and many more that have allergies to them. That should've been a sign of the unprofessional ism that was awaiting me. The tutor kept wanting to cover things that I didn't or need covered, then told me that if I have someone in front of me that has 30 years of experience I should take advantage of it. I told him that I was trying but he was helping me in areas I didn't need help in. Plus he was a smoker and my eyes were getting itching. I asked him if he smoked in the room and he said he had the Ozone 3 on, which I took to be a yes answer. I explained to him that it made the studying environment uncomfortable and he started up his criticism of me. He said that I was too much of an independent student. WTC? Then he said that if I wanted to ace my test, I need to see him again and could only do so by purchasing a 10-pack worth $420. When I told him I wasn't interested, he insulted me and questioned my finances and if I could hit up my parents. Obviously this guy was not a "patient tutor" as he said on his business card and someone I wouldn't want to see again! Friday was a totally different experience. This new tutor was VERY patient, nice, wanted to cover things that I wanted to explained on, printed guides out for me and helped me see chemistry in a lighter light. I saw one of the errors that I was making and now am feeling more confident. I purchased 11 more sessions with him, which will work out perfectly with the school semester.
Life is filled with blessing and I am so grateful for all of them this week especially! "
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I have joined the group of bloggers that can't blog from work anymore cuz of stupid work "securities." So... time for an update!
Surgery went well, except for the thyroid hormonal imbalance crap that is coming to an end. I was always feeling on edge and like I was PMSing. It was a constant urge to want to cry or yell at anything and everything. I totally lived up to the California road rage crazy person during that time.
Then, there is the other women's worst fear... uncontrollable weight gain, which I am happy to report that is finally coming to an halt. YAY!!!
So since the last time I blogged
Natalie turned the big 21! She had a cool party at her house that was Vegas themed. She has casino tables, hookas, open bar and DJ. It was a fun night. We went shopping for dresses the weekend before and yes, you will see me re-wear it later, but hey! I really pay $70 for a dress, so have to make good use of it.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I will post what I have been up to a little later, but wanted to give an update on my surgery. It took place this past Tuesday the 15th. I had to spend the night just in case I bleed or has too much swelling blocked my air ways, then I would be close to help. They only removed the left side of my thyroid, which is a good sign. I see the doctor on Monday to get the pathology report. I was able to finally take a shower today and boy did it feel good.
I have had nothing but a lot of tender lovin care before and after my surgery. There were 60 people at my mom's church praying and fasting for 3 days. HOLY MOLY! My sisters, Mom, Jay, niece and my mom's pastors stopped by and tonight Cindy is stopping by to show me her engagment picture and drop off some DVD's to entertain me while I am home. When I arrived from the hposital Jay had the place filled with purple balloons, roses, a card and party garland. It really lifted my spirts to have the place decorated and so much love. Everyone says I have a good color and seems to be healing well, so off I am to the road to recovery.
Friday, June 27, 2008
He came in and made the file magically reappear and before he left he said that “since I was a good sport” he felt that he could share a story about him this morning. Apparently this morning he woke up, turn off his alarm and laid there thinking of stuff he needed to get done that day. My computer problem popped in his head and THEN he said that Queen’s Fat Bottom Girls came on. I asked him “what’s that supposed to mean?” and he said “I knew you were a good sport!” and walked away. Obviously, I thought he was telling me I was fat/heavier/bigger, since we were talking about working out and how in the last year I have gained 28 lbs and have been struggling to get if off AND was wearing jeans today. Jay thinks he was telling me that I have a nice ass.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
When I was in the Navy I knew I had to be in shape, to not only fit in my uniforms that are only issued every 4 to 8 years, but it was part of the job and promotion standards and requirments. Maybe that is what I need to stay in shape - a job that requires it.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Before leaving on Friday my boss asked if I had spoken to co-worker Cindy. She was the one who had thyroid cancer 4 years ago and the one that has a huge, visible scar that got me worried. Of course I didn’t! I couldn’t see myself just walking up to someone and asking them questions about their health condition. What if it’s personal and she doesn’t want to talk about it? Plus, it’s hard for me to open up to strangers. My boss said he would ask her to speak to me and moments later she called me into her office. She was very upbeat about the whole situation, which made me feel good since she went through the surgery, had her entire organ removed and found out she had cancer, went through radiation therapy, found out she was immune to radiation and is “incurable” since she is immune and is expected to live into her elder years. Her scar is bigger then the average scar because she had cancer and it went into her bone, so they had to cut deeper to cut the bone. *wiping eye brow* I shouldn’t have such a big scar! She told be the good, bad and ugly about the surgery and iodine radiation. I left work feeling better about the whole situation.
I’m glad that I have such loving supportive people in my life that keep checking up in me. Last night I told Jay the way my family is and during times like this they are around a lot. He looked around our very tiny place and said “all your family is going to be here?!?! Where will I go?” Luckily, Jayla will be in AZ with her mom during that time, so we wouldn’t have to worry about getting her to daycare (since I can’t drive), etc.
The people that will be there like 24/7 are my Mom and sis from CO. In the evenings I imagine I will see more of my little sister, Jessy and oldest sister, Sharon (which might come with my two nieces) after they get off of work. Plus, the occasional visit from their husbands and my friends is going to call for a full-house!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Half way through the day I decided I wasn’t going to stop by the beach and drop off roses as I do for Father’s Day, his b-day and this day. I think a part of me didn’t want to face that another year had passed by. There's not a day that passes that something doesn’t remind me of him or a memory flashes by. This year it just seemed harder then last year. But I changed my mind and glad I did!
After class... yup, that Statistic class where the A/C is still not working and we just happen to be having our summer heat wave… I went to the beach. I stopped to get some roses for him. When he was alive, he had some rose bushes at his house that he used to pick roses from and leave them by my room. Sometimes he would make me a fresh juice in the morning and leave it on the fireplace mantel with some roses. When I got to the store I already knew I wanted to get him roses, especially the red and yellow colored ones and what do you know? There was one of those bouquets of roses left.
I made it to Balboa pier and it was packed. On this summer day there were tons of people fishing on the pier and coming from the Ruby’s restaurant at the end of the pier. There were even some people in the water. It did look refreshing!
I walked the pier and looked for a spot that didn’t have tons of fishermen and was private. I found the perfect spot. I have this thing I do when I go and drop off flowers at the beach for my Dad. With each flower/rose I drop into the ocean, I recall a fond memory I had with him or thank him for something. Yesterday, I thanked him for some important life lessons he taught me. Afterwards I walked the pier and watched people get excited over the fish they caught. This one girl was holding up her fishing rod with the tiniest fish, but she proudly gave the biggest, cheesiest grin as she posed with her catch for a picture.
Last year I remember asking my Dad for signs that he was there, but this yearI sat on a bench (the one that Jessy and I sat at for his b-day) and told him that I didn’t need one this year, cuz I knew he was there with me. I stared out at the ocean and sky and witnessed a shooting start. WOW! It as if he wanted to say hi!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
My surgeon and his staff was AMAZING!!! My Mom and I were very impressed the upbeat staff, the no wait,and super clean and modern office.
The surgeon was very informative, took his time to explain the procedure and my test results that the thyroid doctor had sent over. Looks like the surgery will be in the next 3-4 weeks. A surgery scheduler will call me from within the next week to set something up.
A little about the procedure: I am going to have the left part of my thyroid complete removed. That is the side that is enlarged and has the two nodules (growths). During surgery the partial gland will be sent to pathology and if they can detect it's cancerous, they will remove the entire gland during the surgery and I will come back for iodine-radiation following the surgery. If pathology needs more time to review the tissue, then they will sew me up and get back to me in a week with the result. If it is cancerous, I will have to go under the knife again to remove the other half of the thyroid and start iodine radiation following the surgery. Finally, if (and this is the one I am praying for!!!), if not cancerous cells are found during or after the surgery, then I will be away from work for 10 days and not be able to drive during this time. Not bad at all!
Either way, I do have to stay the night in the hospital just in case there is too much swelling or bleeding occurs which can block my air passage. The doctor says it's very unlikely, but more of a precautionary procedure.
Oh and I met the PA that will be there before and after the surgery. She was SUPER cool! She said her job is to do everything beside the surgery, so she will be there before and after my surgery to check up on me and call me once I get home.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
I never recall crying on the last day of school. What I recall is watching the clock like a hawk, running out of class with a huge Chester cat grin and eating all my snacks in my earthquake preparedness pack during my walk home.
Later on my niece insisted that she need to be taken to the track to run because she needed to get her sadness and nervous out of her. This kid is 6 years old! Now, I know I never acted that way or asked to be taken to the track when I was little. Exercise was a form a punishment when I grew up, never a stress reliever! So the whole family, My Mom, sister, 2 nieces, Jayla and Jahnice’s friend went to the track. Lizzy ran some laps with Jayla following her, Jahnice and her friend walked behind them my sister read a book and Mom video taped the kidz (She is such a grandma!).
They headed over to Yogurtland afterwards cuz Lizzy needed another stress reliever. Now, THAT I do recall doing! Haha! As they sat there enjoying their soft-served yogurt a classmate of Lizzy’s came in. She got up, said nothing but hugged the kid for some time, let go and walked back.
School must be a wonderful place now cuz I never mourned it they way Lizzy has. I guess that is a good sign of quality education.
I those remember those summer days back when I was a little kid. My sisters and I would search the house for change or hit up the folks. After we all had a dollar we would ride to 7/11 and get slurpies or to this liquor store that had cheap candy. You get there and do the math trying t get as much as possible.
They started debating what they could afford, so I just placed what few dollars I had on the table and said “here you go.” I forgot how much more money is worth to kids. They all looked up at me, jaws dropped and I heard an echoing “thank you!” As I walked out I heard a kid scream “God bless you” is the happiest voice. It was too cute! If only I had a camera to remember their expressions, but I guess I will have to rely on my memory and hope it can easily retrack it. But knowing me and my memory, probably not going to happen.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
I heard someone calling my name and as I opened my eyes I saw my Dad peeking from the hospital curtain and I reached out for him and burst into tears yelling “do you see him?!?!” The curtain moved as if he let it go and my family asked “who?” I didn’t reply and just cried because I knew he made his way back to heaven.
Today I goggled thyroid surgery and saw real pictures of the procedure. As my eyes got bigger and my freak out meter started to rise, I got a text from my sister letting me know that I was in her thoughts and she just wanted me to know that. She went on to say that she worries about me, but feels confident that I will be okay after the operation and ended with letting me know that I could count on her and her family’s help!
What perfect timing!
Friday, June 6, 2008
The medical assistance took my vitals and then asked the reason for my visit. I looked at her puzzled thinking shouldn’t you know that, but of course I didn’t tell her that and instead said that after the doctor had called me with my biopsy result he asked for me to come in and see him. She said “oh, so are you hypo or hyperthyroidism?” I said neither and that my blood work is normal, but my gland is enlarged. I know that my test results are in the system, so why is she asking me? She then asked if I was coming in for a biopsy today then. Didn’t I JUST say I got a call from the doc about my biopsy results and that is the reason for my visit??? So we got it squared away on why I was there and then was left to wait for the doc to come in.
He came in and I greeted him and asked how he was doing. I like his reply of “I’m living a dream, how are you?” I said I am good except for the fact that I need to have surgery. He paused, looked me up and down and asked why I needed to have surgery. Are you serious??? I thought. Should I be concerned that my doctor doesn’t know who I am and why I am sitting in front of him? He looked up my reports in his system and went through them with me again, answered my questions and sent me off to get an EKG, chest x-ray and breathing test. All in preparation for my surgery. I was the youngest patient in all the waiting rooms and felt like at any moment one of the other patients was gonna croak!By the time I was done, I felt drained!
So what I learned yesterday - I will be out for a week if my nodules are non-cancerous. They cut me open just about the area where my right throat meets my chest.
If it is cancerous tissue, then I will be out longer and have to come back for iodine-radiation therapy.
*crossing fingers* that it’s not the second one!
Later that evening I got a call from my sister from CO. She said that her friends really wanted me to know that they would be praying for me. It just really touched me. My eyes got watery and I thanked her for letting me know and she said she would be calling me A LOT, which made me giggle cuz she means it! We had probably talked 3 or 4 times in that one day.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Man, it was heart breaking to see how much pain she was in and how pale she was. You can tell when her daughters would come in that she would try to tuff it out a little, but I know her way too well. Her hubby helped her sit up and let me take over while I assisted her to go pee. It was quite comical! I helped her pull down her pants and her hospital undies. For those who have never had to wear them or even see them, they are these full covered, white, fish net panties. As I sit her down, I accidentally step on her toe, but once I removed my foot from on top of hers and sat her down she asks where her pad went. The hospital had gave her one just in case she bled. I patted down her leg thinking it fell down one of the legs, but nope. I search the floor and nothing! Mind you it hurts her to laugh and talk, so she tried to be as serious as possible when she mumbles that she thinks it fell in the toilet. Shame had left the building a long time ago as I look from behind to see if it was there and sure enough it was! I told her to sit tight and I was going to pull it out and she mumbles sternly that she will. She actual thought I was going to put my bare hand in the toilet water. But I told her my plan was to get it out with a plastic grocery bag, the way you would pick up dog poop. After the pad extraction, she tried to do her business but was having a shy bladder moment or was afraid that it might hurt. I didn't know what to do, so I just turned on the water (cuz I hear that helps) and played with my niece's dinosaur shower toys until my sister was done peeing.
I got her situated in bed, go her some med and was on a hunt for a heating pad, but no luck. Luckly I live only a few blocks away from home, so got one and was off to class. Talk about a productive 20 minutes!
Monday, June 2, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday night was Jayla's last night in CA and the next morning she would hit the road with her Mom and grandparents to AZ. It was such a sinking feeling to know that, plus we had spent the night at Jay's which was so empty. It just added to the sad vibe of the night. I made it to Jay's before the two arrived, so I ate dinner and put on the idiot box to entertain myself. They came in after 9PM with Jayla happily repeating that they went to the park. They must have had a blast because the entire night see would be thinking and then say "Nessas? We went park!" It was adorable. After the nightly routine we got to stay up and watch Alvin and Chipmunks.
Luckily she will be back in CA for summers with Daddy on June 10th. Since Jay works on Sundays, I will be watching her and I have a few things planned already. A must do is swimming and I got the lil tike a Strawberry Shortcake bathing suit. She looked too cute with it on and kept touching the fabric while looking at herself in the mirror with amazement. I can't wait to hit the pool with her. I remember loving it when I was a kid, plus I will get a tan while we are out there, too. Which I desperately need!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
(Me and my sister, Sharon, who was one of the performers)
Cindy and Mr. W, my aunt, cousin, sisters, nieces, Jay and Jayla and my Mom all came out to join in on the festivities! It’s funny that almost everyone I greeted commented something along the lines that they didn’t know it was a causal dinner, because I was in my puma shoes, black pants, a fitted t-shirt and track jacket. Honestly, I had a wardrobe malfunction that evening. Two to me exact. I was planning on wearing a white, Spanish looking, halter-top dress, but with the rain I didn’t want to be giving everyone a show or be freezing, so I went with plan B. Of course, I didn’t try on plan B at my house and just put it in my overnight bag. It was a cute light blue sweater that my sis gave me, which was COMPLETELY see through and let’s face it, my family doesn’t want to see my goods. Since I was at Jay’s and had no other clothes, I went in my PJ shirt and causal clothes.
(Me, my bro-in-law and Messy Jessy)
Dinner was great and it had that homey feeling to it, like the feeling of Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner (not the food, but the feeling of it). It was random conversations, laughter and tons of pictures. For dinner I had hot tapas of stuffed roasted piquillo peppers with poached salmon and a salmon salad. It hit the spot!
During dinner Cindy was looking through my camera and bumped into this sequence of pictures from my grad day:
You might recognize the last one from two post ago. But who would have thought that it would take three tries to get Jay to have a "normal" pose. Jay isn't a fan of taking pictures, so will purposely make faces or bunny ears every chance he gets.
Towards the end of the show they have audience participation and naturally my sister who was performing called my up. My lil niece, Lizzy, and Jayla followed me up and we did a little Flamenco. Ole!
It was such a special night!!!
(My niece, Jahnice, and I)
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I was happy to see a call from a friend and wanted to catch up. I thought maybe they were calling to see how everything is going on with me, how the move is going with Jay, heck maybe, just maybe an update on my graduation or the latest with my doctor appointments, but no they just wanted to update me on the good news in their life and had to go. Time and time again this person cancels on me and is just not there.
I know you are not supposed to have these silly expectations. I’m even one that advocates for not doing something out of obligation, more because you want to and have a genuine feeling behind your actions. I understand we get busy in our lives and at time selfish or self involved that looking up at those around us just doesn’t happen. I know I have been at fault of it too. But I’ve been surprised by those that don’t look at me as their “best friend” or a close friend for that matter and have been there. Not to mention all the really good and close fiends and family that have given me a tremendous support and constant love. Not sure why I even let it bother me, but writing it out helped me get over it and see the positive in my life.
Friday, May 23, 2008
I took the day off yesterday so I could attend graduation practice in the afternoon and make it to graduation early. Although an AA is not a degree that is given at a Cal State or UC, it was still a precious moment to me and I was thrilled to be taking part in the ceremony.
As I got ready for practice, I got a call from my doctor. His voice already told me he didn’t have the best of news for me. He said that my biopsy came back, I didn’t have cancer, but they could not rule it out either. I have Follicular Cells, which I goggled later and its cells in the thyroid, but other website said Follicular cancer is an aggressive cell (which I don’t have, but I am assuming for the time being that the cells can turn to it.) I know, I know… I should have asked while on the phone, but I was too shocked to even think of questions. I have a follow up appointment with him in two weeks, at which time I will ask all the questions that came up after I hung up. Can you think of any thing that I should ask?
I will need to have surgery to remove the two nodules and any others they find when they open me up. When they open me up, if my thyroid glad has cancer, they will remove it completely. After surgery, regardless if they only take the nodules or the entire gland, I will need to take thyroid medication for the rest of my life. I made the appointment to see the surgeon for my consultation which is 3 weeks out.
Hind sight, I would have gone to graduation practice or taken a walk before calling anyone. I was an emotional mess and the first thing I did was call Jay. He didn’t pick up, so I called my Mom. As I started to tell her what the doc said, I burst into an emotionally basket case! Who gives calls like this??? Well, I did. I felt horrible when my Mom emailed me later that her heart was trembling! I called Jay before leaving and was again a mess!
Like they say, bad things come in 3, so there was hit #1 for the day.
So off I went, like I should have to graduation practice. It was bright and sunny when I left for practice, so much so that I worn a tank top, shorts and flip flops. Graduation was being held at my old high school’s tack and field (outdoors) and practice was being held at the very spot I would be seating that night. Right as they started with announcements the wind picked up, the sunny skies became replaces with grey clouds. The rain gods soon started to pour on our practice and we didn’t get to practice our precession. I got home and guess what? My period started a week and half EARLY! It’s as if my body was an emotional mess, too! So that is hit #2 of the 3 bad things that day!
It was eerie after I got home. I spoke to Cindy on the phone and after that it was dead silent! No emails, texts, phone calls... nothing! I was just there at my house working away on schoolwork with the only noise coming from the thunder and rain. Finally, as I was taking off to graduation calls started pouring in. It was one call after another, literally! It’s funny how my mind works, but when it gets that silent and I can’t get a hold of someone, I think God came and I am left alone on earth.
On campus there was the same eerie feeling. There was no one in sight. The parking lot I parked at was completely empty, except for my car. I finally turned the corner in the middle of campus to see life, tons of grads around the cafeteria (a place we were not supposed to meet up at). That’s were I got hit #3 from the 3 bad things of the day… graduation had been cancelled due to the rain. WHAT THE F%&@! At practice they told us if it was raining, that the ceremony would be held at the school gym, but I guess they didn't plan ahead for it.
There was a line to take pictures with the school president and another line to get out commemorative pin and diploma cover. I made the call/texts to everyone with the news, took my picture and got in line for my diploma cover. I was thinking that they would just give us the cover and I would be on my merry way. But noooooo.... Someone had a bright idea to make us actually wait over 30 minutes standing in a crowded cafeteria (cuz the reception was being held there, too) to confirm our diplomas and to hear one of the student speeches (that we couldn't even hear or care about at this point!)
I was in a foul mood. My sister and brother-in-law were still on there way and my Mom later called me and made her way to campus with my niece, too. That made me in a better mood.
While in line my sister and bro-in-las found me and gave me ballons, flowers and a card.
This is what it said…
Remember What is Most Important…
It’s not having everything go right; it’s facing whatever goes wrong.
It’s not being without fear; it’s having the determination to go on in spite of it.
What is most important is not where you stand, but the direction you’re going in.
It’s more than never having bad moments; it’s knowing you are always bigger than the moment.
It’s believing you have already been given everything you need to handle life.
It’s not being able to rid the world of all its injustices; it’s being able to rise above them.
It’s the belief in your heart that there will always be more good than bad in the world.
Remember to live just this one day and not add tomorrow’s troubles to today’s load.
Remember that every day ends and brings a new tomorrow full of exciting new things.
Love what you do, do the best you can, and always remember how much you are loved”
It was exactly was I needed to hear!
Two classmates from chem, Matt & Natalie, came too!
The night ended good!