Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Do you ever have those friends that to them you are very important, sometimes to the point where they tell you that you’re their “best friend,” but you don’t see them in that same light? They call you when they need a shoulder to lean on, a sound board for problems or just to vent. They call you with their good news and you are there for them! However, when it comes to what is going on in your life they are just not there!

I was happy to see a call from a friend and wanted to catch up. I thought maybe they were calling to see how everything is going on with me, how the move is going with Jay, heck maybe, just maybe an update on my graduation or the latest with my doctor appointments, but no they just wanted to update me on the good news in their life and had to go. Time and time again this person cancels on me and is just not there.

I know you are not supposed to have these silly expectations. I’m even one that advocates for not doing something out of obligation, more because you want to and have a genuine feeling behind your actions. I understand we get busy in our lives and at time selfish or self involved that looking up at those around us just doesn’t happen. I know I have been at fault of it too. But I’ve been surprised by those that don’t look at me as their “best friend” or a close friend for that matter and have been there. Not to mention all the really good and close fiends and family that have given me a tremendous support and constant love. Not sure why I even let it bother me, but writing it out helped me get over it and see the positive in my life.


Anonymous said...

I don't think it's a "silly expectation" to think that someone who calls you their best friend ought to check up on you when you're going through some major, earth-moving events in your life, and all these events at once, too! I mean, you've got the relationship front, the educational front, the health front, those are huge!

But maybe this person isn't YOUR best friend because you already know on some level that you can't really count on him/her and you've already mentally adjusted your expectations to the person. That's okay, there are some people who are good for one thing (like partying) but who aren't good for something else (like babysitting or reliable stuff); that's why you have different friends for different needs in your life.

Jane Doe said...

There are time where I feel like I might be over anaylizing something and feel like I am being silly, but you are right, it's not too much for me to expect and no this person is not my best friend! The one that has that spot in my life knows it!!! Messy Jessy all the way! *smiling*