My ammo and theirs

I'm not sure what came over me yesterday. Maybe I wanted to encourage the "alliance" team. Maybe it was guilt from all the weight sabotaging I have contributed to. Who know? But I signed up all competitors for a free 24 Hour Fitness 7 day pass. I printed them out and had the receptionist call each of them and notify them that a envelop was dropped off for them. I didn't know how they would take it. They might think "wow...thanks!!! This is just what I needed!" or "hey? what are you trying to imply?? That I need to go to the gym?" or "hmmm... someone doesn't think I'm competition because they are helping me lose weight!"

Little did I know they had also receive an email. One girl thought someone had stolen her credit card information until she got the envelop. Oops! Didn't expect that reaction.

Naturally, I was cautious when I came in today. I seriously thought I was going have food of some sort waiting for me. Instead, I had a sheet of paper that said "see guys, you should STOP the diet NOW just in case something like this happens." Then there was this story about a guy that was arrested and was able to hide a gun and two clips in his fat layers. Really? This is their ammo? I don't think I would ever be going to jail or need to hide a gun and two clips from the cops, so I am good. I will keep working out and watching what I eat. Speaking of working out, I went to the gym during lunch yesterday and burned 500 calories and then last night did a boot camp at the park. Today will be a run 30-40 mins during lunch. :)

September 24th is the big day

September 24th marks a very important, exciting, scary day for me. It's the first day of school at Cal Poly Pomona.

I know it's important because it will be the start of a new chapter. It will bring me closer to my goal and better our future.

It's exciting because this is what I've talked about for what seems like FOREVER! I've been waiting for this moment ever since the day I talked with my counselor back in 2000 and learned that one of my future school was going to be Cal Poly Pomona. Right after I called my Dad to tell him that I would be going to his almamator. I took a break from school here and there, but received my AA last year and now it's time for that VERY big step.

One of the major things I am worried about is money of course! I will be leaving a cush job to at this moment nothing. I am going to start sending out my resume and once Jayla leaves on Tuesday, I will start actively looking for a part-time job on the weekends. Maybe at a vet clinic or as a waitress or even find a job on campus. I know I will be taking a pay cut of at least $15/hour. SCARY!!! But that's reality. I took out a loan to off-set the loss of income and pay for tuition fees for the next 3 quarters and my half of the mortgage for approximately 9 months, so I am kinda okay. I have some money saved, but nothing like a few years ago when I would freak out if I had anything less then $10K in my savings account. Also, once I quit and my income is reduced I might qualify for financial aid.

My pride might suffer a little bit too. I'm used to being able to pay for things. I don't think I have ever been the "broke" one and I've been on the other side where someone tells me they can't get me a gift for my b-dayChristmas or can't go out because they can't afford it. I have always been totally fine with it, but it's easier being on that side verses the broke side. I feel like I want to stock up on possible gifts for my family for their b-day or Christmas, but know that it not the smart thing to do with my money right now. I have stocked up on lotions, tampons, etc tho.

I keep doubting if this is the "right" and/or "smart" move/decision. Maybe I'm doubting myself because it would be the easy route to say "hey, forget school and stay comfortable." Plus, the unknown isn't "safe." I worry about paying my bills, being able to afford books, gas, food, car maintenance, etc. It's not like when I was straight out of high school and could count on living at my Dad's rent free or know that I could ask him for school money. I'm grown up and have bills and a mortgage. Plus, we are in a recession!!! Finding jobs are not easy to come by like they used to. Ya know?


I am SO worried that I actually had a dream that I needed mortgage money and became an escort and sold myself. WTH??? I was pissed when I woke up because I only sold myself for $500.00. I would like to think I would at least ask for an amount in the thousands. Haha.

In addition, I haven't gave my notice. During my time here at work my boss would let me leave 30 minutes early to make it to class some semesters and just asked that I give him enough notice when it was time for me to leave. Right now I am at less then a month and still haven't told him.

It does seem like whenever I am doubting myself people randomly ask me about school, how's it going, what I want to do and then cheer me on. At work I can't remember ever talking to some of these people about school, but all of a sudden they ask. Maybe it's a sign.

Then I recall a very important talk I had with my old boss who said you could always find a high paying job, but you can't always go back and get your education.

Also, my sisters have rallied up in support, too! My little sister asked me if I needed anything for school. I said $ for books or a gift card to the bookstore. The very next day I got a card of encouragement from my oldest sister and a gift card to Barnes and Noble. Koinkidink? I think not.

So that is where I am right now. Frighten to death almost so to the point that I can't move forward. I guess no one ever said life was going to be easy. I hope I look back at this moment some day and say it was one of the best moves I ever made.

Got burned

LITERALLY!!!
My gas cap was resting on my tire as I filled up the gas tank. It was windy and the gas cap was blown under my car. I reached under to get it and the muffler burned the heck out of me. OUCH!!!

My alliance is turning on me...

I was emailing my co-worker whom I am in alliance with and was saying how shocked I was that I passed out on the living room chair last night. I mentioned to her that i thought I was anemic and she wrote back

"Oh, sounds like you need some extra iron. You have been terribly overdoing it with all the exercise so wouldn't doubt that you'd be anemic. Maybe you should take it down a notch."

WTH??? First of all, me feeling tired and anemic could be that I have been spotting and having my period off and on for almost TWO weeks. Second of all, hello exercise helps with anemia. I know she said she was extremely competitive and last challenges chapped her hide as she worked out and didn't lose any weight. Also, this week I actually have listened to my body and rested up. I didn't work out Thurs-Saturday, Sunday I did have a killer workout with a trail run for an hr and boot camp with my sister, Monday I did some laps in the pool and yesterday I rested again, so I don't think I am "terribly over doing it" but I do think her competitive side is now showing.

Something cool and something not so...

There are cool events that happen in my life and it seems like there is this long delay before I blog about them. Just like the 4th of July pictures and mini family reunion that I still need to post about.

And here is one of them. 3 weekends ago Jay's niece and her boyfriend drove up from San Diego to join us for the "Uncovered: A Pageant of Hip Hop Masters" show at the Sweeney Art Gallery in Riverside. The local paper had said it was a spin off of the Pageant of the Masters, but instead of famous art paintings this show would have hip hop legends' album cover. You walked in to the art gallery and were able to explore different rooms with people in the poses of different albums and then we would gather in one room/space, music from the album would come on and the dancing would begin. First was Run DMC "Tougher than Leather" which made we want to run out and get shell toed Adidas, followed by A Tribe Called Quest "The Low End Theory" and "Midnight Marauders (which was my favorite!) and then my second favorite Wu-Tang Clan "enter The Wu 36 Chambers." The most entertaining was the 2Pac "all Eyez On Me" and Notorious B.I.G. "Life After Death" duo and the duo between Jay-Z "American Gangster" and Nas "Hip Hop Is Dead." The night ended with LL Cool J "Bigger And Deffer," MC Ltye "Lye as a Rock" (which I have never heard before that night) and Salt N Pepe "A Salt With A Deadly Pepa." The dance moves of everyone was awesome and the costumes were right on point. It was an awesome show. We got a sheet with bio's of all the dancers and some of these people were still in high school. I think it's awesome that high schoolers we grooving in a college production. The night ended with us doing the longest detour to find gas, which was pretty funny because every gas station location on the GPS was no longer there. Finally we found a spot and made it home, where we talked a little outside, saw the biggest possums EVER, so big we thought it was a little dog and then called it a night.

And now to the not so cool event -- A wedding on a boat!!! Whomever thought of this ideas was just plan dumb! We had bumped into the bride last weekend while we were celebrating my mom's birthday and she was scoping out the area and she said that parking was included. When we got to the parking lot, they staff attendant mentioned that ONLY 10 parking spots were paid for and you have to have a slip.

Then, we were told that the boat was leaving at exactly at 5:30sharp by the bride herself, so we rushed there only to stand and wait for an hour before being allowed to board.

Once on the ship it was SO crowded, my butt barely fit on this plastic itty, bitty chair and there wasn't enough room for everyone to sit, so people had to stand...
And then we waited... and waited...

Finally the ceremony started and guess who decided to take this opportunity to show off? none other then the Captain who sang the theme song to the Love Boat. Can we say corny?

Then came time to exchange rings and see the look on the brides face? Well, she forgot the ring back at the dock!! We had to make our way back so she could get the ring and then re-start the ceremony.

THEN... we were told that the first hour was open bar, which it wasn't and they "fixed it" by starting the open bar AFTER the first hour. LAME! People have already bought a lot of drinks. Because of the delays, dancing was for 30 minutes and then the show was over.

Luckily, we were paired with Jay's co-worker who her and her boyfriend were hilarious!

Sorry for the poor quality pictures, but I only had my 1.3MP camera phone.

Just plain wrong

I passed by a co-worker's desk and had to run back to my desk and grab my cell phone to take a picture. This guy isn't on the weight loss competition, so I couldn't tell if it was his real breakfast of a maple donut and slice of bacon or a prank.

Either way, it's DISGUSTING!!

The Empire

We got the final weigh in email from one of the competitors that is no longer with the company. Here is this week's weigh lost for the team:

KT: GAINED 3 lbs
SI: GAINED 1lb
MR: Lost 1lb
DE: Lost 1.5lbs
AZ: Lost 3 lbs
JC: Stayed the same
TS: Stayed the same
and I lost 3.5lbs!!!

Since the winner is decided by percentage and not total lbs lost, I had to do some math (since the "official" spreadsheet hasn't been sent out yet) and I came in first place on this two week's round. Nice! I am proud of myself but see that this group isn't very motivated to lose weight. Almost everyone I talked to said they barely workout and eat like crap. *sigh* I feel bad for one girl though. Her and I are in an alliance to cheer each other on, give each other tips and NOT sabotage the other. Well, she has been working out and was one of the people that didn't lose any weight. I gave her the diet I was on and maybe she will do it.

A wake up call and something hard for me to see was at the beginning of the competition I was the 2nd heaviest. Granted, there are height difference but STILL!! The the first weigh in I was 4th heaviest and now I am 5th heaviest out of 7 people. I am stoaked about that! I don't think I will be number one as that girl is 144lbs and I would look like a stick at that weight, but I am happy being #5.

KT wrote an email saying:

" The Empire won this round...

Seriously! Do you ladies have a side bet to see how much I can GAIN? I'm Up 3 lbs. But I did spend 4 days in the land of Beer and Cheese (Wisconsin)."

and these pictures were attached...

(Hmmm... what's up with the flipping me off pix?)

I guess I'm the Empire.

Pill for dinner, anyone?

Karma... I see it's coming back to me in a bad way. Ya know how I "sabotaged" the other competitors with a goodie bag of snack last weigh in? Well, it seems there is another person(s) on the challenge that has delivered items like fresh baked homemade pie and coffee cake to the competitor's desk and automatically EVERYONE thinks it's me. Luckily once I had a verifiable alibi because I was at the gym during lunch. Ha! Naturally I responded to the emails with that information.

But the thing that is killing me is I am PMSing TWO WEEKS early!!! I am spotting, retaining water and fatigued. Not to mention a little moody. Friday I had weighed myself and I had lost 3.5lbs. I was SO happy. Then I slowly gained it ALL back plus some as my body began retaining water. WTH? I guess that's the universe's way of saying I should play nice, nice!

Last night I took a recommendation from a co-worker who said it's not considered cheating if I take a diuretic, since I have lost the weight and just retaining water. I started it last night and lost 1/4 of a lb. How frustrating!!!

To add insult to injury, I went online googling health stuff and took this BMI survey and this is what he had to say:

"According to the BMI scale, you are in the danger zone of being considered 'overweight' and you should probably consider taking an effective weight loss pill in conjunction with a healthy diet" They promise that doing so will make me feel (not be) healthier and be more attractive. And then the ads start coming up for this miracle pill. Good thing I am not gullible!

8/20 Update: Weighed in this morning and guess who lost 3.5 lbs in the last two weeks? Yup, me!!! I'm so happy. Unfortunately, since I am PMSing I couldn't contain my surprise and cried. I'm was so embarrassed about that, but not embarrassed that I lost 3.5 lbs and am closer to my goal!!! Only a month more to go.

Prize

Yesterday the weight loss competitors got together for lunch and to discuss the prize for the winner. We decided that at the end of each weigh in (there are 3 more to go) everyone who did not place first has to put $10 into the pot. The winner of the overall competition get the money which will equal $120. Not bad, but I was rooting for everyone just giving the winner $50 at the end which would have equalled $300!!! (I had already planned on spending the money on school books). Nonetheless, I was more motivated to keep working hard. The previous night I had skipped dinner because I had come home and fallen asleep. Yup, I came home and passed out and didn't wake up until 1:39AM where I ate a piece of chicken and went back to bed. I guess my body needed some rest. So last night I did a boot camp workout and because some family decided to hang out RIGHT NEXT TO ME and watch me work out, I certainly pushed a little hard. Not to show off, but just human nature to kick it in high gear.

I've been on "meal plans" compliments of Oxygen magazine. They are planned out by a nutritionist and it's supposed to jump start my metabolism. I just started week 2 and am doing well on it. I only semi-cheated once with a mint protein bar.

Here are the meal plans:

WEEK 1:
Meal 1: 3/4 cup of oatmeal and either a banana or orange
Meal 2: 1 apple
Meal 3: 1/2 cup of rice, 4 oz skinless chicken breast or fish, grilled and 1 cup of summer squash, chopped.
Meal 4: 2 cups of celery and 1 tbsp of almond butter
Meal 5: 6 oz fish, grilled, 1 cup of zucchini, 1 cup of asparagus, 3 cups of salad (yup, that's plain with NO dressing...YUCK!)
Meal 6: 1 cup of mixed berries
(Plus one snack from the list below if needed)

WEEK 2:
Meal 1: 3/4 cup of oatmeal and either a banana or orange
Meal 2: 2 cups of raw celery or 8-10 cherry tomatoes
Meal 3: 1/2 baked potato, 4 oz skinless chicken breast or fish, grilled and 2 cups of steamed spinach
Meal 4: 2 cups of celery and 1 tbsp of almond butter
Meal 5: 6 oz of fish, grilled, 1 cup of zucchini, 1 cup of asparagus, 3 cups of salad (Again no dressing)
(Plus two snacks from the list below if needed)

WEEK 3:
Meal 1: 1 egg, 3 egg whites and 2 cups of mixed bell peppers
Meal 2: 2 cups of celery and 1 tbsp of peanut butter
Meal 3: 4 oz of skinless chicken breast or fish, grilled, 1 cup of summer squash, 1 cup of asparagus, 3 cups of salad and FINALLY 1 tbsp of low-calorie salad dressing.
Meal 4: 2 cups of celery and 1 tbsp of almond butter
Meal 5: 2 oz of tuna, 1 cup of mixed bell pepper
Meal 6: 6 oz chicken breast or fish, grilled, 1 cup of zucchini, 1 cup of steamed tomatoes, and 3 cups of mixed salad
(Plus one snack from the list as needed)

SNACKS and SUBSTITUTES:
In case I need to substitute a meal or need an additional snack between meals, I am allowed only these things:
12 raw almonds, 1 tbsp pf almond butter, 1 medium sized fruit, 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce with 1/3 cup of shredded wheat biscuit or whey protein shake with fresh fruit.

The diet is not bad at all. Just a lot of cooking, which is not my forte Exercise have been going well. I want to add more ab work outs and Tae Bo videos here and there. I hope to lose 3-4 lbs by next weigh in.

Possible stalker

I got a random email today from some guy I don't know at work but he obviously has been watching me. He sits downstairs and I am up stairs. I don't talk to anyone downstairs besides the admins or the occasional executive, so who the heck is this guy.

Brian writes:
"Hi Vanessa,
I met you this morning by the front door and couple of times in the park and library while ago…I noticed that you worked for Sales dept and I need to talk to you regarding the sales function in Bldg A. This is for one of my friend who like to join the [work's name] sales team. I was wonder if you have time to talk about this during lunch break, if so please let me know. Sorry that I did not introduce myself properly before. Thanks again"

*me thinking I don't recalling meeting someone downstairs this morning and how creepy!*

My reply:
"Brian,

You could always forward your friend's resume to me and I could give it to the proper person. I do not think I would be the appropriate person to speak to regarding open Sales position, but I could always have the hiring manager/VP give you a call or set up a meeting."

Brian:
"Vanessa,
Thanks again for the info…sounds good.."

Me:
"You're welcome."

Brian:
"How about lunch together??"

Me:
"I can ask the hiring manager if a lunch meeting is possible. Please forward the resume and the position your friend is interested in and I will get back to you."

Haven't got an email back from the guy, so hopefully it gets it that I am not interested at all!

Psychological warfare

Tomorrow is the first weigh in for our 2-month weight loss competition, so in celebration of such an important day a little fairy dropped off a care package to each of my competitors this morning that had:

2 Pringle canisters
2 mini Twix
2 mini Snicker bars
1 packet of Hostess mini blueberry muffins

With a lovely note that said:

“Something SALTY
Something SWEET
And look a breakfast TREAT
ENJOY!”

The whole package had a grand total of 760 calories and 41 grams of fat. It’s not my fault if they can’t resist. *devilish grin*

One girl automatically though it was me and dropped the bag back off at my desk. I told her I had received one too (i know I lied but I had to!) and so began “alliance” emails.

MaryAnne:: (writing to two other competitors with the title “alliance”)
“Hello,

So after a disturbing morning where a breakfast goody bag was left on my desk I realized that this competition just got serious. I have confirmation from a source that Vanessa is pure evil. John has agreed to an alliance, Kirk the choice is yours.

May the force be with you, (hahaha… I am kinda serious about this alliance thing)”

Kirk sent this out:

Exercise we must!

Strong we will have to be, hmmmm?

MaryAnne: Forwards everyone the email with “FYI”

Me: “You know the first one to point the finger is normally the one to be the actual culprit. *Side ways glance to MaryAnne* Was it you that put one on my desk?????”

MaryAnne: “I say nothing. Til tomorrow.”

Then some more packages were delivered with the help of other co-workers to the other competitors…

Kirk: Seriously, attempting to FATTEN us up the day before the weigh in? }:-)

Of course, you know, this means war!”

(There is the bag that was left on his desk)

(Bugs looking at the bag with a disapporving look!)

So it’s my period week (I know TMI!) and was terrified to get on the scale, but when I did I saw that I have lost 5lbs. YAY! I’m off to a great start. I am super anxious to see what others have accomplished these last two weeks.