Friday, May 27, 2011

Challenging cervix

Yesterday marks a day of perseverance. Last December Jay and I decided to find a different method of birth control. I had been on the pill for 4 years and every time I went in to get my thyroid blood work checked out my T4 levels would be high. The doctors said it could be due to the pill and even though they were not concerned, I was. I struggled with the decision to stop taking the pill because let's face it, condoms are not the funnest alternative. I did some research on non-hormonal BC and found Paraguard. It's a copper mechanism that the insert inside you and is good for 10-12 years. My sister has used it and has had no unplanned pregnancies, so I called a local clinic a few months ago and go the ball rolling.

... and then hiccup after hiccup occurred.

1st"hiccup" - I was honest at the first appointment and told them that Jay and I had unprotected sex. We had gotten the morning after pill right away but the clinic didn't want to take any chances so I had to reschedule no earlier then 2 weeks and next time they wanted me to be on my period. WHAT?!?! Ew! I guess the cervix is more open during that time. Honestly, the last place I want some in that area is during that time of the month. But what ever...

2nd hiccup was with appointment #2. The unsuccessful procedure was painful. I don't know what it is about female P.A.'s but they are not as gentle as male P.A.'s!!! After signing all the waivers this lady tried to open my cervix up and no go :( So strike two it was. I would have to take some medication to dilate me and would have to wait for my period to come around again. Annoying! It's like all the stars have to align just right. With doc appointments being what they are, I would have to pray that I was lucky enough to have everything work out.

hiccup #3 - I had called the call center to make an appointment and tell them I had lost the prescription . They made the appointment anyways and told me to go in anyways. This time I had 2 different ladies try. It's bad enough that I was now visiting the clinic for a 3rd time, but having all these instruments in me, being poked etc isn't fun! I really thought it wasn't for me at this point. We would just have to settle for me going back on the pill or condoms. By the way, Jay also mentions I am a happier person and my ol' self no that I am off it. So I guess the pill isn't really an option... so it would have to be condoms. ICK!

And then came my 4th appointment where I was told my cervix was challenging. The 2 PA's that helped me during my 3rd visit where there. I was on my period (I know... TMI!) and this time had taken the medication that's supposed to dilate me, but STILL my stuff was tight and they couldn't get it to open. After many tries and being repositioned they called over to surgery and asked for different instruments - A steel dilator. WHAT in god's name is that? All I could think was a big metal instrument was going to be poking around doing god know what. A 3rd lady came in and told me she was a cervix expert and would be trying to get this device in me. Mind you by this time I had my legs up for like 30 minutes and I was in an akward poistion. My legs were a lil shaky from me tensing up too. I don't know how women go through delivery for hours with there legs up, your stuff out there in the open for everyone to see and all these medical professionals around. There were 3 and at time 4 people in the room. Seriously? They joke about it being a party... haha... NOT FUNNY! I heard the 3rd lady ask for a "block" and when the PA return with this "block" it was 2 HUGE syringes... they were going to give me a numbing shot in my cervix HOLY CRAP!! I kept saying it wasn't meant to be but this 3rd lady was determined. She used a smaller clamp to kept me open so she could, as she explained it, "pull my cervix forward." So after many tools, people watching/assisting, a freaking shot, they finally got the device in. It was well over an hour at this point. I am a wuss... and I am not afraid to say it. I felt light head after and felt like throwing up. It was so traumatic. This reconfirms my beliefs that I am not meant for child labor. Adopting seems like a better route if I ever want kids. The way I look at it, if I can barely go through a 1 hour challenging procedure like this, how could I make it though HOURS of child labor. Clearly... this is the whole reason I was in the clinic in the first place, to prevent a lil one for forming :)

On the plus side... all these visits were free :) YAY! Another plus is that I don't have to do this for another 10-12 years double YAY!!!

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