student pains

I can't believe my 3rd quarter is coming to an end. It feels like so much as gone on during this short period at school. I love my study groups and all the cool people I've met here. Although I love the campus and the friendships, I'm hoping to be out of here in 6 qtrs (2 years). I signed up for Fall qtr and am taking
- biometrics lecture and lab
- genetics
- chemistry
- scientific communication

I'll be here M, W, F.... which I'm not a fan of. I like to squeeze all my classes on Tue and Thurs, so I am here during club meetings and only have class 2 days a week. That third day of class just makes me feel like I'm seeing my teacher too much and get burned out quickly. I have a 4 hour break on Wed, so am thinking of adding a physics lab and lecture, but am just at the thinking of it stage. It would put me at 16 units and not sure if that is too heavy of a work load. I'm taking Trig over the summer, which is a prereq for it, so I have some time to think about it. Originally, I wanted to take chem over the summer, but the college is only offering one class and it is full. All these budget cuts are getting on my last nerve! It's definitely getting in my way of getting the classes I want and need.

Well, as this quarter comes to an end, I realize I'm not doing as good as I was hoping. While I have received many A's and B's, there are a few C's in there too. I can't get into vet school with many of those darn C's, so need to FOCUS! Or come to the realization that I won't be applying to vet school.

What it took

Back in October I filled out an application for an on-call/part-time police dispatcher position at my school. What followed was a lot of tests, $, and time! I really didn't it would be such a lengthy process.

The first process to be considered for the position was a 4 hour POST test that was a bubble in questionnaire as you listen to a recording. Passed it and was off to the next phase which was a panel interview. I passed with flying colors and got compliments from the interviewer about how well I was prepared and polished I was. Word got around about me, because when I came in for my second interview the Chief's assistant gave me the "I shouldn't be saying this but" people were impressed and there was a buzz about me. It was a nice compliment and I was happy she shared it with me. I had an interview with the Chief and finger prints the next day. After all that the pain in my ass "fun" began. I had to fill out a damn near 30 page application with so much detail about y life, family, friends, places I've worked, current places my references word, things I've done, etc, etc. It had to be accompanied with my transcripts (from 3 junior colleges mind you), copy of my birth certificate, credit score, H.S. and A.A. diploma. There was a page that had to be notarized, too. After it was submitted there still needed more info! Ugh! I had to provide them with a copy of my SS card, driver's license, reason why I don't have DD14 and proof of automobile insurance. The private investigator took almost two months to "clear" me to the next level.

My physical entailed meeting the doc and him checking my medical history and oddly enough being able to touch my toes and do a squat. I had to laugh when he asked me to do it. The place also took a urine sample, preformed a hearing and eye sight test and took some blood work. You would think I was being hired for physical intensive job! A dispatcher sits for almost 12 hours straight... was this all really necessary?

Any who... next was the psychological exam. 4 hours of IQ test, more bubble questionnaires, and fill in the blank crap and I was told that I needed to come back for my one-on-one with the shrink. I thought it would be done all in one day, but seems like I would have to back the hour drive once again. When I went back for my mental clearance check I was in the room a total of 20 minutes and all done. Seems like I am good to go and started training this passed Monday. Seems like a chill job. The only thing I don't like is that I am a one-man show and when I need to use the restroom, I need to find a police officer, my boss of someone to cover for me. That can get annoying! But other then that, things seem like a good decision.

Disconnected

My heart is literally racing as I sit here at work. I should be focusing on work, graphs and follow-up emails, but instead my mind is bombarded with thoughts of the last few weeks and this morning. I went for an individual counseling session today to work on me, what I want from my romantic relationship, to understand Jay and the areas that I can improve on. Jay and I have been rocky and a week long break-up and then make-up have us back at square one. The square gets claustrophobic at times with all the thoughts, comments, conversation and uncertain future. Our definitions on compatibility are way different. My counselor for my individual session was good. Very productive first session, she is honest, straight forward and could read me like a book. She said she couldn't get a sense of "who I was" and asked me to describe that person. I went blank. Normally I hear that question in interviews and have a answer, but outside of an interview I didn't know how to answer that. Is that weird? I mean was she asking hobbies? Likes or dislikes? How I view my personality? Time was running out and she gave it to me as a homework assignment to come back with an idea/answer next week. I am normally one who is very upbeat about self-help/improvement but right now I don't feel so upbeat. I feel beaten up and like I want to throw up...literally!!! I fear the worst and get discouraged. *sigh*

Jay and I also had our "intake" for couples counseling where they get to know us, our backgrounds, issues that brought us there, to discuss the program, etc. I hope that we both start seeing eye to eye, establish common goals, communicate more clearly and decide to work on "us" long term.

puke

Trust is an interesting beast. It can blind you, open you up, make you vulnerable, or close you off to the world. Walls are back up, I have doubts, confidence is lost, worry is here and skepticism blanketing my every thought.

Mini B-day Celebration

I got to my sister's house to carpool to the TAO: Martial Arts of Drumming and here is a lil preview of what the show was all about. I was surprised with a lovely and delicious ICE CREAM b-day cake. My nieces, her friend and my sister sang to me.


I hear this chipmunk voice and it was Lizzy singing on behalf of her 7 Zoo Zoo hamster.
It was too cute!!! The cake was yummy and off we were to the show. My Mom was giving a speech in LA that night, so was meeting up with us at the theater. The show started with some stick fighting, which totally blew me away. I kept thinking "wow... and I thought I knew some moves with sticks" or "oh...so that's the way it's supposed to look!" The show was on point! These people were is excellent shape and at one point they did drumming for like 5 minutes with their backs facing the crowd. All we saw were muscles flexing with each stroke. Made me want to go to the gym immediately. Haha... but I didn't. All in all, a great night!!

Rays of sunshine

Right when I start complaining and thinking "why me?!?!", rays of sunshine start pouring down. I got an email that I passed the 4 hour long, written, P.O.S.T. exam to proceed to the next step in the hiring process. It's for a dispatcher position at the PD on campus that I applied for not too long ago. I scheduled a sit in with the current dispatcher for next Thursday and interviews will be the week on the 22nd. Since my research assistant position is temporary and the project is coming to a close, I was searching for a position that paid higher then minimum wage and flexible with my school schedule. I hope I pass the interview panel and background check (20+ pages mind you) and get offered the position.

Then, I got an email with work to do. Not homework, but work that pays you the green. :)Originally, my current job didn't have any work for me for two weeks, as my supervisor was busy interviewing potential student candidates for the coming year. But seems like my student leader who is supposed to oversee this research project didn't code all the surveys she was supposed to, so I was asked to do them and some other admin work that popped up. Perfect timing as I need $$ for my aunt's wedding/vow renewal present and for Santa's baby shower gift.

I started reading my school paper and good thing too. There is so much information on school events and offers that I was oblivious to. One of them was an offer to have your taxes done for free. The event is put on my the accounting department at my school. How cool is that? It's definitely a money saver and on my student income, I need to save every penny! The rays of light are plentiful this week.

I also got news from my uncle in Nicaragua saying he will pay us (my sisters and I) the remaining money from the sale of some land down there on Feb. 19th. Awesome news!!! We were going to put the money towards remodeling our kitchen, but Jay wants me to put it towards my debit. Not a bad idea.

And finally... my poor lil heart was broken when my sister want to cancel or reschedule my b-day celebration with the family. She text me not too long ago about a martial art drumming show in LA titled TAO that she wants to take me to. This is TOTALLY up my alley! She ordered the tickets for us to go tomorrow night. Awwww.... I felt so special!!! What a great way to start a weekend!

Tomorrow, Jay is picking up Jayla and we get her until Tuesday. Her b-day is tomorrow, but since she will get home late, we will be celebrating it on Sunday. The tentative plan is to head to Scooter's Jungle, a bounce house with my lil niece Lizzy. :) If we don't go there, we will definitely hit up some kid friendly place.

B-day Sushi

I miss my old town and the convenience of knowing where everything is. Yesterday. Santa and I headed over to Chomp's Sushi (in my old neck of the woods) to enjoy their Sexy Mutha rolls and celebrate my b-day. It was nice to catch up over some great food. We started off with edemames and a cumber salad that had squid, seaweed and crab meat on it. Next came the long awaited rolls and at the last minute Santa ordered a banana tempura and ice cream dessert. The celebration had come days after my sister wanting to reschedule or shorten my b-day celebration so she could go to a workshop, which ended with us cancelling the whole celebrating all together, so it was very touching. Sometimes people do something kind, like inviting you to lunch, not knowing what perfect timing it is and how extra special the act of kindness was.

Ramblings of a student

I've been a weird mood lately. It could be for a lot of reasons - I am fighting a cold, school has become extremely stressful this quarter, I'm working less and less hours at my research job, and finances have me worried.

I don't know why, but I can't handle bad news well or just seem like there is a little gray cloud hanging over me lately.

I broke down after my chem mid-term last week. It was my b-day and failing my mid-term just got to me. Granted, I could just take the class over and start fresh, but I felt like a failure. I hate chem. Even times were I have had a weekly tutor, studied and did all the work, I barely got by with a C. Reality of "how am i going to do this" and get only A's and B's is setting in.

Yesterday, I drove practically 40 miles round trip to see my counselor to removing a routine advising hold so I can register for classes. Traffic was a mess and so was parking. My regular 30-45 drive was about an hour and finding a parking spot damn near took 30 minutes. I had to go to this office called SEES to get one of the 3 forms I needed for the meeting. They were closed! Luckily, when I went into the SEES study room, there just happen to be on of the forms I need. Then I headed to the biology office to get my curriculum worksheet and planning form and headed off to my advisor office. A lot of walking and three buildings later there was a yellow posit-it saying he wasn't having office hours that day. Ugh! I went there today 30 minutes early to ensure I was the first student to be seen and he arrived 30 minutes late. WTF? During the advising session i learned i needed to take 3 additional organic chem classes. *crying!* Makes me want to rethink being a vet. I mean taking these classes doesn't even guarantee I will make it into vet school. Why put myself through such hell? I know, I know... I am not looking at the big picture.

Saturday, I drove in a big rain storm to take this math placement test at school in hopes of being able to take Trig on campus, instead of at the JC. Got my results and I scored at algebra level :( I either have to take the class over at CPP, wait to take the placement exam again in October OR take it at the JC. My school has a weird rule that if you haven't taken the prereq class within a year, you have to take the placement test and pass to be let in. I don't want to waste more money on classes I already took or spend more time studying for a placement test, so the JC it is.

FaceBook findings

So I finally joined FaceBook and see tons of people from H.S. The first two years of H.S. was a lot of fun, raising animals, being on competitive teams and making friends that I had a blast with. My later two years of HS were darker. I started ditching school a lot, gained weight, was partying and drinking to escape, etc, etc. So I found this old buddy of mine on FB. I'll give you the short version of what happen. This girl and I were really close and one night I left her at party. Instead of coming to my house that night, she went home and drunk!!! We never talked about that night again (from what i can recall) and we stopped hanging out. I've always wanted to say sorry for being a bad friend and not having the balls to talk to her. I have a tendency to avoid conflict when i know I am in the wrong. Anywho... today i found her on FaceBook and sent her a message basically saying I know many years have passed, but I am sorry for being a sucky friend!

I feel good for finally being about to tell her that even tho it's was so long ago.

The writing test

Woke up hella early today to make it on campus before 8:00AM. I wanted to get up, eat breakfast, get ready, wash dishes and re-read what this test was all about. It's the Graduate Writing Test that has to completed and passed before I walk across stage. Once you have 90 units completed, you get this wonderful hold on your registration. I paid the $18 and was her in the freezing cold by 8:40AM. There was a HUGE line outside one of the buildings, so I had no problem finding where to sign in. The yest was easy, write an essay on what a role model is and write about a good one or a bad one. There are 3 people that will read it. Two that grade it and I have to get at least 7/12 points and another that is the last say on your paper. I am pretty sure I passed and will be pissed if I don't!!!

During the beginning of the test they tell you that they have been doing this test since the 70's, which means my Dad took this test took. Pretty cool!

Well, I am taking advantage that I am at school, so am in the library and going to attach my lab that is due and my online chem homework.

Going in a cave

Since I no longer have a desk job, it's harder and harder to get on blogger. I find myself writing blogs in my head, but they rarely make it onto the actual thing.

The holidays were great!! A mini recap since I don't have time to upload pictures yet. We hosted both Thanksgiving and Christmas at our new place. My little sister and bro-in-law were in town for Christmas and stayed at our place for a few nights. We went to the shooting range, ate A LOT, watched movies, went to Oak Glen Apple Rance and hung out. Jay turned the big 3-0 and we celebrated the night with one of his old marine buddies. Jayla was in town for a few short days and Jessy's b-day was celebrated early since she was in town. School started up shortly after.

This past Monday was the official day of my 2nd qtr. I am taking the next biology series with a lab, chemistry and English. I feel the pressure of school already and the budget cuts. There was only ONE class offered for the next bio series class forcing me to sign up for M, W, F classes. UGH! I prefer T/Thur since that's when clubs meet and more school stuff occurs. Plus, I prefer to jam all my classes in two days, not three. My schedule is ALL day Mon and Wed. From 9am to 8:50p. I know it's a long day, but I have a 5 hour break in the middle, which allows me to head over to my job and put in some hours, study, or hit the gym. Friday I have class from 9:00am-11:30 and then head over to work from there. Did you know because of holidays and stupid furlough days I am missing 2-3 weeks of lectures/class, but am STILL responsible for the material?!?! What?????? I have to log into three website as well to stay up on all my assignments. Luckily, I am extremely organized for the most part and that will help me stay on track on when things are due. Hence, I will be in a cave studying, looking for more work, finishing my research work for the next 10 weeks...