Family bonds

Spring break started with a hiccup, but of course sister love is something magical. It makes you get over stuff or at least see past it to enjoy each other's company. I know I was pissed that my sister cancelled my Colorado trip, but we talked about it. I am trying to not hold things in and talk about it sooner rather than later. Normally, I stay pissed and people just know that I am pissed and to stay away. I take FOREVER to talk about it. I know that's not healthy and with Jay's help am working on my communication skills.

My sis and I talked about the big elephant in the room, made up and then made plans to hang out. I was going to stop by after Olivia's birthday party. The party was a small get together with family and I'm an honorary family member!! We met at Chuck E. Cheese where kids ran around with excitement and fist full of tokens and raffle tickets.

Santa's newborn slept through all the craziness and we were able to catch up on each other's lives. She made homemade cupcakes that were DELICOUS! They even had Mini Mouse fondue ears and a bow. Too cute!

My goddaughter couldn't get enough of them... but she was a good sport to stop and take a picture.
It was hilarious that her younger sister wanted nothing to do with her b-day crown that Chuck E. Cheese gave her. Naturally, Madison took it. It felt great that when it came to present time and Madison was sad that the gifts were not for her, that her godparents had a gift for her. Her eyes lit up and said in the most adorable voice "*sniff* this is for me????* She held her Little Mermaid doll up and then hugged it. The only thing I remember about my godparents was that they always had presents for me and my sisters. As a kid that means so much, so I learned from them and made sure to bring a gift for Maddy!

The rest of my spring break I spent visiting my sisters and friends. My favorite sister time was when we all went walking on a horse trail that we frequented when we were little. We rotated talking to each other and sharing stories. The weather has been so beautiful lately, so we didn't need to bundle up. There's a part on the trail that the eucalyptus trees smell so fresh and crisp. It brought back so many good memories.

Karla and I also made a trip to my school. She is thinking about joining their fashion design college... I know it's just an idea, but hey that would bring her back to Cali!

As my spring break came to an end I worked a graveyard shift. My mom called and said she wanted to bring me some food. It was late and I was sure places were closed, but took her up on the offer for coffee. I was working until 0600 and could sure use the caffeine. She got to my work around 1130p. She was amazed by all the monitors I have to keep track of and the radio transmission I could understand. We laughed about how we could say so much with just a few codes. She said for a while and we watched some TV. It was nice for her to see me working and to stop by. She said she's a night owl, so would be up anyways, so why not visit her daughter. I felt special! It was a nice treat to my work night.

So now here I am, starting my last quarter at school. Class starts at 1PM. I'm feeling pumped and ready to attack this quarter. I'm taking biology of cancer, botany (with a lab), physic (last of the series with a lab), cell and molecular biology, and some bio class that I am not really sure what it entails.

She threw me a curve ball and blamed it on life

It's amazing when you talk to people and what they say about you. I'm just being me and it's surprising how much it means to people or how nice it feels when it's put into words. And anyone who knows me, know that I love my family. I try to be there for them as much as possible and in the smallest or largest way.

With my sister Karla that comes with calls, letters and the occasional visit. She has moved around quite a bit because secretly you know that she wants to be in California with her family, but is torn because her husband hates it here and is happier in Colorado. My sister is emotional and a pleaser. I see her struggle with trying to do what she wants to do and with what she feels obligated to do. Ever since her son passed away gosh I want to say 5-6 years ago, it has gotten worst. Of course, everyone went to visit her when Baby Henry passed away, but only then. Besides her in-laws and myself, no one visits other than that time. Karla always tells us to visit her not just when something traumatic happens. I have made it a point to try to visit at least once a year. Not only to visit, but to keep our bond alive. I know it must be hard to live so far away from family and be constraints to only certain visit when time, vacation accrual and money permits.

Yesterday mark the last day of my winter qtr at school. I was supposed to hop on a plane and visit my sister. However, last weekend her high school friend over dosed and passed away and mid week she got a call that the funeral would be this coming Saturday. That would be during the time of my trip to see her. At first my sister wasn't going to come to California because she would just be putting it on credit card, plus I was already set to be in Colorado. She told me that we could remember Lisa by living life and fed me some bull shit because the next day she said she was crying all night and she just feels it in her heart to be here. Really?

Now, I am not one to judge how someone morns, why some deaths hit you harder than others, etc. But hello, I am ALIVE... I am your SISTER... I am visiting you just like you beg the rest of our family! If I die tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, heck probably a year from now (*knock on wood that I don't!*), I am sure she would have regretted her decision and seen the value of spending quality time with someone when they are alive verses choosing someone who passed.

It's not like I make tons of money either that I can eat the cost of my ticket and just buy another anytime. To change my ticket it was going to cost $150, plus the cost of the new ticket. WHAT?And I think what hurts the most is this. In December Jay and I got married. We had mentioned to family that we wanted to get married by the end of the year, but it wasn't set in stone until a week or two before the date in which it occurred. However, my sister didn't jump on a plane and come visit. Heck, I know she spends a lot going to all her other friends weddings and yes sometimes puts it on a credit card. Not that I am expecting it, but it is the truth. Her Cali ticket must've cost around $500, she said she was paying me back for my ticket, so that's another $200. Once you add spending money it will be close to a grand to go to this funeral, yet she couldn't come to my wedding which had similar circumstances: had special value, was somewhat last minute and would've cost around the same or less. Although I wouldn't want her to have done all that for our wedding, I am just comparing the two.

In addition, during this passed week she was venting to me that her in-laws planned a trip to visit her in June and arrive the same day as my graduation. She didn't know what to do and was upset. REALLY??? AGAIN?!?! These are your in-laws... I am sure my brother-in-law can entertain HIS parents for one day. Missing the day the arrive isn't THAT big of a deal. I felt like shit. I get it... I really get it... My life events are a DAMN obligation for her. Then don't bother... really... I want people around me that WANT to be there. Plain and simple. If it's more important to be there when the in-laws arrive, then fine. Don't vent to be about it, just be straight forward a "hey Vanessa, I can't be at your graduation" would be fine. I don't need to know the details. The ceremony will happen either way, I will walk across that stage and I will still be happy!

Unfortunately, my sister is also someone who wants to lick her wounds. She blamed this whole situation on God, got upset at her husband and at me. Then, she started to lick my wounds. I told her once we got off the phone to not bring it up. I didn't want to hear "I'm sorry!" a billion times. It only brings it up and makes me upset. HOWEVER, she didn't get the message and STILL text me super late at night, called me a few times saying exactly that. She said she was boarding the plane and it should've been me. That life throws us curve balls and we have to make the best of it. Sure that's easy to say when you're the one throwing them.

I guess it's what I signed up for

I'm in there. The tunnel and I think I see a light in the not too distant future. Almost 3 years ago I started on this journey to earn my B.S. and I am FINALLY going to get that piece of paper!! This quarter I am taking 22 units of science courses. Yes, 22 units! It has been my hardest quarter yet. Not because of the unit load, but because my teachers have been giving so much work. Seriously, finals are next week and I had 6 quizzes, 2 formal lab reports, and 5 lab write ups due THIS week alone. Next week (yes, that would be during finals week!) I have 3 quizzes due. Who gives quizzes the week of finals week? It has been ridiculous keeping up with all the quizzes (sometimes 2 for 1 class within the same week), homework, papers, lab writes up, presentation, etc. To celebrate the end of this quarter, I am going to visit my sister in Colorado during Spring break. Can't wait!

Babies and sweating

Since late last year to now, I have had 3 friends and 1 co-worker gave birth to a baby, another co-worker is pregnant and my sister is trying to get pregnant. It's crazy how they are all so close together and all different stories. Of course, everyone keeps asking when I plan on having children and for right now I enjoy the quiet time that Jay and I get to share and sleeping in. It is not our time yet to have a little one. However, they are such a joy to VISIT!

Well, the great news about one of my friends giving birth is that I have my old work out buddy back. We have worked out the last two weeks and it has been the motivation I have been missing! She lives at the top of a very steep hill. Prior to her pregnancy, when coming home from work she used to have her husband drop her off at the bottom of the hill and run home. I told her I not only want to see her be able to do it again, but I want to conquer that hill too! It used to take her 10 mins. Can you imagine running up hill for 10 mins?!?! I am in awe of her accomplishment! We have been running a small portion of the hill three times and doing some regular boot camp/calisthenics exercises afterwards. Soon we will be running that hill as a warm up :)

After our first workout, she asked if I want to come over to meet little baby Bruce. Of course I did! I normally let the moms know right away that I am ready to meet the baby when there are ready for house guest... so I was excited that I got to meet him so soon. He was such a good baby and a joy to hold. His 2 older brothers wanted to play with him, but not so rough we kept having to say. Made me think of my little sister who wants 5 boys! She will have her hands full.

The next day I got to meet Santa's little boy, Carlitos. He is about a month younger then lil Bruce and it's amazing the size difference. He laid there peacefully and I was impressed by how both my friends were balacing 2 toddlers/young kids and a newborn. They seemed so happy and peaceful. The most precious thing about these two newborns is that both are named after very special men who passed away within a few months of them being born. It a special honor to be named after great men... I am sure their births have helped the families' wounds heal a little bit.

Our BIG DAY... when two became one!

First of all, many thanks to this wonderful lady. Without Santa, this day would have NEVER happened. She is the one that introduced Jay and I and I owe her big time for introducing such a great, handsome, loving and wonderful man into my life.
My sister was my official photographer (and videographer... and maid-of-honor). She wore many hats this day and I am so fortunate to have her in my life!

I put together my own bouquet and the day before got 3 roses from my Dad's garden to include in it. There is a red, yellow and white rose. I remember when I lived with him he used to leave me a freshly made juice and a few roses at my bedroom door. Since he is no longer with us, I wanted to included him some how.

Our wedding was non-traditional. Jay and I drove together. Here we are taking care of all the legal stuff.When I got to the wedding location and was going over the details with the minister, I asked if my Mom could walk me down the aisle. His response "don't you have a dad?" Me: "No, he passed away." Minister: "don't you have a brother?" Me: "My mom WILL be walking me down the aisle!" She was squeezing me so tightly. We laughed about it and she said she was excited. I was so happy that I felt myself tearing up. She was also very happy with the dress I was wearing. You see, we had gone wedding dress shopping together and she hand picked this dress.

The minister asked if we were religious and we didn't know what to say. We think of ourselves as more spiritual and I thought "isn't this something you ask BEFORE the ceremony?" He then saw our looks and said "do you believe in God?" We answered yes and wondered where he was going with this. He then asked if someone in the audience wanted to bless our rings. Naturally, we called up my Mom who is an ordained minister.

I just love this picture! It captures our wedding ceremony... we were having such a good time!

So out of nowhere... the minister asked since we were a small group if people would like to congratulate us. We were like what??? No pressure! He asked if we had a Best Man and if he could say a few words. Jay and I had not planned on having any brides-maids, best men, flower girl, etc until our full blown wedding, but I guess things were about change. One of Jay's best friends was appointed as Best Man and he said some really nice words.

Next the minister asked who my Maid-of-Honor was and without a doubt it was my little sister and best friend Jessica. She to said some special words and the ceremony continued with words about love, marriage and our vows.

And we sealed it with a kiss!!

Tah Dah... the moment has arrived... Mr. & Mrs.

The girls in my family minus my sister in who lives in Colorado. I think the minister was hitting on my Mom though... he said she was a model!

Jay and Archie

My oldest sister, Sharon.

Jessica and I!

My Niece and her boyfriend!

My sister, Jessica and brother-in-law, Rudy

Archie and his wife Rosa

Sharon and the gang

Sister picture!

Mom and I

Santa and in her tummy is little Carlos :) She has less than 7 weeks to go and looks GREAT!

Our wedding reception

We were surrounded my family and close friends at one of our favorite local Cuban Restaurants.

We started off with drinks and Jay and my favorites - chicken empanadas. Then ordered individual meals. I had the chicken fajitas with moros and platanos. Jay had the Arroz con Pollo. The food was amazing! Even though there was only one server, he did an excellent job make sure our drinks we always refilled and checked on us often.

My little sis got us a cake. Jay and I normally split a slice of Ralphs' lemon cake, so she ordered us that same cake for our reception. She even brought sparking cider, toasting glasses and cake cutting knife to complete our reception. I felt SO special!

I am so into my story that I clearly didn't know pictures were being taken.

What a special and intimate reception! I truly feel blessed and honored to not only have supportive family and friends, but to have found a wonderful man to share the rest of my life with.

Cheers to us!

Behind the scenes

There a lot that goes into planning a wedding, even if it's a small scaled one. Jay and I had searched for a place to have our wedding. We had settled on going to Vegas since I work weekends and he works weekdays and Vegas is 24 hours. We found a place in Cali that was cheap and had a beautiful backdrop of Lake Tahoe. For some odd reason I thought Lake Tahoe was a lot closer than it really was...400+ miles ONE way! Their website said CA/NV border and I just assumed it was the state line closes to us. Nope, I was wrong (rare form). On to plan B or was it C at this point? We looked up places in Vegas and they were reasonably priced. We debated when we would go and the drive. Jay still had to go to work the day after our wedding, so the drive was looking very appealing. THEN, I stumbled upon a place less than 10 miles from our house. SCORE! I called to make reservations literally one week before our wedding date. Talk about luck cuz they had an opening.

The weekend before our wonderful wedding I went dress shopping with my Mom. I totally forgot it was Christmas time and the malls were packed. We visited the major department stores and then my favorite store, Windsors. I had a certain dress in mind and couldn't find the right look. Plus, I had gained some weight, so finding a dress was not easy! My Mom kept pointing at a certain dress but it wasn't white or what I was looking for. However, being the loving daughter that I am, I was a good sport and tried it on for her.
This one I really, really like and it was on sale for $29.00. Although it's not the dress I wore for the wedding, I did get it. Heck, for that price I couldn't pass it up.

This dress cracked me up! Sure it was white, but SO not me. But my mom liked it and surprisingly a lot of people I showed also liked it. My eyes zoom in on my hips and I clearly see that it's not flattering. So I passed on it!

This dress however had great reviews from everyone! Including my Mom. This is the one that she had spotted and found the hook to get it off the top rack and insisted I try it on. I didn't get it that day, but after a second day of shopping, I went back for it. It was truly "the one."

Christmas day we spent it at my sister's house and she kept my Dad's roses on the side of the house. I asked her if I could take a few for my bouquet and she said of course I could.

The morning of the wedding I stopped by the grocery store and got a dozen roses, got some ribbon from a gift Jay gave me for my bday and my glue gun and got to work.

Tah dah... my bouquet! Only $9.99!! Florist over charge to make these things!!!

And as part of my wedding/Christmas gift my little sis got my toes and nails done. She highly recommend I get the crystal gel on my nails, so I did. I love the gel! It makes my nails feel so smooth and the color looks better then it normally does. I am told that it will stay on for a longer time too.

Our wedding day was also Jay's bday. I had stayed up making him an apple pie the night before. I figured since we were having wedding cake I might as well make a different celebration sessert for him. I blew up some ballons and left them on the table with his gifts and card. We had planned on waking up around 4:30ish to go on a run and then out for breakfast, but I was too sleepy for the run. Mind you, I am not a morning person and had got to bed after 1:00AM. I know, no excuses! Ha! I work up after 5:00AM tho and we went to IHOP for some yummy veggie omelets with turkey bacon. Sooooo good!!! Jay then had some errands to run and I was off to get ready.

Mud mask is a must! I was PMSing and had a nasty pimple on my face, so thought this might help. I am trying to smile in this picture BUT the mask was drying so made it difficult. My sister in Colorado couldn't make it down, so I sent her pictures of me through out the day. This was one of them

I didn't want to stink... so made sure to get clinical strength.

And I was getting nervous. Not a bad nervous, just super excited so needed to calm my ass down!!! I cracked into Jay's bday Jamaican rum! Two shots later and I was feeling good!! Ready to go off to the chapel.